It’s that time of year.
Time to define your SMART GOALS, your yearly theme word, set your intentions, your Task Lists and Actionable Steps.
To complete your 60 page workbooks and plan deadlines and commitments for the next 12 months.
And land your self with a Checklist that gives you heart palpitations and anxiety tremors.
But what if it were simpler?
What if you could set some simple desires and just move towards them? And take out all the angst nd the pressure?
To “Goal” Or Not To “Goal”
OK, I’ve made some assumptions here. I’ve assumed that setting all these goals puts the pressure on. It might. And it might not. Either way is totally fine.
If you love goals, and they’re working for you, you achieve them and they make you feel great, go for it.
But if the process of setting and seeking to achieve goals feels heavy for you, then you might want to consider a different approach.
The Challenge With “Goal“
The biggest challenge with goals seems to be the numbers.
The minute you put a timeframe against it, you’re racing the clock. And if you don’t meet that time frame, you’ve failed, despite what you achieved in the process.
The minute you quantify or name an amount, you’re collecting and counting numbers. And if you don’t meet that number or amount, you’ve failed, despite what you achieved in the process.
The challenge with goals is that they can become all about the goals, the end point, the target, the number, the time.
And the process of getting there is forgotten. It becomes the means to the ends.
If you get the goal, you’ve won. If you don’t’ you’ve failed.
And that point is so fleeting any way.
We often fail to acknowledge all the work, the creation, the experiences, that occurred on the way to making that goal.
So What If Life Became About the Means?
What is, instead of focussing on the end point, the goal and the destination, the journey and the process became just as important.
The journey is all about the process and experience of creating whatever it is you are creating.
The Three Questions
You can start this with three questions:
- What do you desire?
- What do you desire to feel?
- What do you desire to create?
01 – What Do You Choose?
“Wanting,” “needing” and “craving” and even “desire” can be described as:
- To be needy or destitute
- To have or feel need or longing, yearning
- To fail to possess especially in customary or required amount; lack
- A lack of something requisite, desirable or useful.
The problem with these words is that the core of them is about lack or not having.
If you are in a state of want or need or desire or yearning you are lacking or not having.
And, if you continue to stay there you will continue to lack or not have.
There is an attachment and a neediness about wanting and craving, that leaves you unfulfilled.
Choice, on the other hand is different.
Choice, implies having it now. Choosing it now, not next week or next month. Now. Today.
You can choose wealth or love, and get on with creating it in your life, but if you crave, want, or need it, your existence becomes dependent on having or not having these things or situation.
So, what DO you choose?
Don’t worry about what any one else thinks, or what you think the answer “should” be.
What do you really, truly, deeply choose?
02 – What Do You Choose To Feel?
Feelings, or emotions are experienced on the inside.
They are really the end result of having all the goals and the things and the stuff. Really.
The only reason we set out to meet the goal, buy the car, get the promotion, take the holiday, pay off the house – is because, once we achieve that goal, we’ll feel something. Happiness, joy, fulfilment. Whatever it is for you.
So what if you cut out that long and arduous journey of getting to the goal to get to the feeling…
And just felt the feeling instead?
What do you choose to feel?
And how can you feel this today? Right now?
03 – What Do You Choose To Create?
And finally, what do you choose to create.
What experiences and situations and processes of creation would you like to experience at some point?
And then how can you add a little bit more to that today. Move it forward, and enjoy that part of the process?
- I choose to create $8,000 minimum income a month; sounds different to:
- I will sell X of this product, Y of that and Z of that each month.
It gives you more space to breathe and work within.
What do you choose to create in each area of your life – financial, social, physical, relational, mental, vocational, spiritual?
And how can you create more of that today?
How Is This Different?
This approach just feels different.
The clock stops ticking and the constraints and expectations and attachments are released.
It stops being out in front of you and into the now – because every thing you do is a choice for that.
When you answer these three questions, honestly, you now have something to work with.
There’s nowhere you “have” to be or things you “have” to do
You can imagine and choose – every day.
You can feel – every day.
You can create a little bit more, every day.
You now have parameters of experiences that you can create today.
Sure, you are working towards many things, but it’s no longer about the end point, the ends, the outcome.
It’s about the present moment. It can change. And it can be whatever you want it to be.
What if you tried some of that this year?