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Yesterday I told someone a secret. Well, it’s not so secret, because most of it’s splashed across this entire website.
But, I started to tell them what I was doing in my business, how I wanted to help women get off the corporate treadmill and create a business that makes a difference to the world.
Their response felt like a kick in the guts.
Want to know why?
It’s taken me a long time to figure out what it is that I am here to do on this planet.
It’s been a long, long journey. For much of it I took the hard road, for whatever reasons, but finally, over the last couple of years, the pieces have really fallen into place for me and it’s clear what it is I’m here to do.
At this point, there’s no turning back. The path lies ahead and I kind of have no choice but to follow it.
Finding The Right Path For You Takes Time
Discovering your true purpose and passion can take time.
It might be something you’ve been aware of for a while. And it’s just taking it’s time to fall into place.
Or, maybe you’re on it. Maybe you’re one of those kids who knew exactly what you wanted to do when you grew up, and you’re doing it and you love it.
Regardless, at some stage you’re going to find your self in a position of being off tack and finding the right path – maybe again?
How do you know you’re on it?
It’s just something you know.
It’s really hard to describe. But you feel it in your gut. In your core.
You know that you have to keep doing what you’re doing and that there’s no turning back. No alternative.
Your Create Your Business Goals
At some point your business or vocational goals start to form and fall into place.
Every day you gain more and more clarity over what it is you are doing and what you want to share with the world.
There comes a point where you feel you can articulate it enough and you want to share it with the world.
And so you do.
When Your Goals Are Smacked Down
You share your goals with friends, family, colleagues, total strangers.
Some support you – they want you to be happy and follow your dreams.
Some smack your goals down.
Because they don’t understand. Because they don’t agree. Because you stating your vision and your goals and making the decision to go for it confronts them – and reminds them that they’re not.
Whatever. There’s a bazillion different reasons why someone is going to smack your goals down.
Regardless, it hurts. Like a kick in the guts. Like someone was beating on your baby – because building a business that is the essence of you is like baring your soul to the world.
An Opinion Is Just An Opinion
That’s what happened to me yesterday.
I started to share my innermost desires and they were shot down.
Now, to be clear, this person had NO idea that what they were saying was having any impact on me.
I don’t think they had any intention of beating up on me and my business – they’re actually a really supportive person. They were just expressing an opinion about an aspect of my business that they didn’t necessarily agree with.
I’ll tell you what it was – they didn’t like the fact that I focussed on business for women. What about men?
Well, I don’t know the issues for men. I intimately understand the issues that women face, so that’s what I focus on. And, I believe that men and women are fundamentally different, and that women have a lot of stuff to offer the world that is undervalued…”
I felt my self justifying my self.
I felt the possibility of this conversation escalating as I defended my business and the essence of who I am.
Instead, I stopped, I played poker face and the wall went up.
I could feel the exact moment where I thought “Well, that’s it for you. You’re out of my inner circle. Done. Dusted. I’m not letting you in to beat on me and my business again. Bugger off.”
But with a bit of time and space I realised…
Your Response Is Your Stuff
Here’s the thing – When I actually stepped back and looked at this, my reaction to this, my response, reminded me of three things that I’m really grateful for:
- Your response is your stuff. Always. What other people think or say about you and your business doesn’t mean a thing. It’s just an opinion. A thought. Irrelevant in the scheme of your life, regardless of who they are, or think they are.
- When you have a reaction that emotional and passionate about your business, you know you’re on the right path. Because you care and it matters, and no-one is going to get in your way.
- When you have a reaction that emotional and passionate about your business, you’ve got some stuff to work on. About caring what other people think.
When Do You Hide Your Business Goals?
When you still have really emotional responses to other people’s responses…
When other people’s opinions about you, your business and your passion matter…
It’s probably a good time to just keep some of your thoughts and philosophies to your self.
Just until you get some time to sort out what the heck triggered you and why you had such an emotional reaction.
For me, it came down to “You’re beating up on my business? That means your beating on me. You saying I’m not good enough?”
Taking the time to site back and look at that emotional reaction helped me realise… ”Wow. That person was not saying that at all. That was me and my old patterns and BS stories kicking into gear. That same old, predictable, boring BS story I used to tell my self that I’m not good enough, so I can back off and hold my self back.”
But that’s a whole other blog.
Your Goals Never Get Smacked Down Unless You Let Them
The point is, when you know what you’re here to do and you’re passionate about your vision and your business, you can’t let any thing get in your way.
And nine times out of ten, no ten times out of ten, when you think it’s someone else holding you back and smacking you and your visions down, it’s not. It’s you.
- You’ve either misunderstood what they’re saying and turned it into something it’s not; or
- Yeah, they’re smacking you down and for some reason you decided to care.
Either way, it’s your thoughts and interpretations about the situation that are causing you to get smacked down.
You’re the one allowing something to get in your way.
In other words…
The Only One Smacking Down Your Goals Is You
But it’s ok. It’s perfectly human. I’ve been aware of MY story for nearly 10 years, I thought it had been handled, and suddenly out of nowhere, BANG, there it is again.
That’s ok. It’s a tiny little pebble in the road. I pause, address it, move it out the way and move on, keep going. It used to be a boulder, so I’ve come a long way.
There’s a couple of ways to manage this:
- Awareness – Being aware of your self and your responses and your stuff is the first step to moving through this. And have a few processes in place to work through your thoughts and your emotions.
- Holding Your Goals Close – This one I say tentatively. I did think “hiding your goals” but it’s not. It’s just holding your goals close until you know that you can handle the response and until you know the people you are sharing them with are 100% supportive of you, your business and your goals. There’s nothing wrong with holding things close until you’re 100% solid with them.
As always, I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever shared your business goals or vision and had them smacked down? Can you see where you played a part in letting this happen? What did you do?
Or, have you got some stuff going on around sharing your goals? Is there any thing I can do to help?
Let me know in the comments below or, head on over to the blog at www.lizwatt.com., and make sure you check out the FREE resources I’ve prepared to help you in your business start up journey.
See you next time.